Tag Archives: darkness

Riding Darkness

In the darkness

in the throes of brooding silence

while the night comes alive

and the grass grows

where quiet wraps itself around me

and shields me from the distractions of the day

the beguiling of my conscious rationalizations rises

I feel it deep in my soul and it moves me to tears

In the darkness

where the questions and uncertainties falter together; lurking

speaking to my childhood creating doubts and worries

born of a fabricated past of actions

Nothing is as it appears

In the darkness my thoughts are my own

I am alone with the vibrations that bring my creativity

and the angels speak

and the melodies of all creation play in the trees

I am afraid in the darkness

unsure of myself, shunning all introspection keeping secrets

from the light and running from Evil

crying out for deliverance

looking for a place to hide from it all

I laugh hysterically in the darkness

sorry for unrealized dreams, where my heart breaks and

the weight of the world kills my aspirations and my frustrations

take me to the edge of Death

nothing makes sense here and I am confused

In the darkness I run for broken promises and regrets

that leave gaping wounds of despair

hugging myself tightly with all the brutality of real love

knowing that a foothold will bring me stability

Day comes

and

I am no longer

in the darkness

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , ,

Getting Out Alive

Getting out alive

My spirit is full

and I’m running from myself

I meet me around every corner I turn

and the disappointment grows stronger

minute by minute

I’m looking for that one thing that will

save me from myself

on this journey that never ends

The road gets longer the more I travel

Where is my freedom? I beg the question

Crying out for salvation

exhausted and abused with no one

to

break my fall

now I am confounded and confused

my heart is broken

This moment feels like forever

The darkness is the brightest thing I see

Sneaking up behind myself I am startled

by the realization of my sorrow

in all its majesty reigning

over the kingdom of my plight

I have struggled long enough

and my resolve is gone

finally I give in and lie down

with the melancholy of my truth

Tagged , , , , ,

Making Diamonds In The Dark

I’ve got barely enough and I’m trying to make it there

the road is dark and lonely but I’m pushing through

alone

in the silence

wondering if anyone is out there

Is someone standing on the outside looking in

pulling my strings

controlling my universe while I use all my energies

trying to find daylight

I can feel it pressing in around me and the air is

thick and dirty brown and

the silence

the silence

the silence

is deafening

and

frightening

and I want to scream out but why am I apologizing

or begging for mercy

or looking for help that doesn’t come

this is all about me

or so it appears

an example, a challenge, a secret bet

on the outcome of a giving heart

that is only fully loved by itself

dying slowly as it gives to the point

where the soul is no longer connected

but lost to the place where it found peace

it only drips with skepticism and distrust

The road stretches endlessly before me with no

signs for direction

no

still

small

voice to guide

a whisper on the wind with an outstretched hand beckoning

come in from the cold

I’m running from myself and mirrors because I don’t like

what I see

and I don’t know where to find the

it

that I need

and all my questions seem to be rhetorical

answering

themselves before they leave my mouth

my mind pulls me forward on its own running

with reserves of memory of what used to be

and the comforts of imagined normalcy

I’m tired and willingly give in to the fight that never ends

I hear the voices all around me and the images bombard

my subconscious world tormenting me in the unrest that I can’t define

in worldly terms

every waking moment I shake from the bone-chilling frost stored

in my physical reserves where it waits for the moment when

my vulnerability is at its highest and it puts me on emotional ice that

cuts my flesh leaving lacerations that bleed the sick bile of loneliness

If I could touch this darkness with my hands

rip it apart with my fingers

throw it into the abyss

so it would be gone

but for now

this moment

it is my domain

Love and family 136

Tagged , , ,
Advertisements